Seeing you

This heart of a parent
is a road that has run parallel 
to yours, always side by side,
but there is something not shared.
A scene I see, but you cannot.
Cannot yet,
until you have the
heart of a parent.

These eyes, seeing you grow
and change.
These eyes, seeing you leaving me
bit by melancholy bit.  
Tearing me, but filling me and adding
your beautiful embroidery, 
color and joy.

It hurts in a strange, wistful way, 
yet is the greatest joy I've known
I don't know how it can both be.
Someday you will know how I feel.

You will walk into your life,
barely looking back.  
And that will be okay.
I will always be watching you,
wistfully and slowly.  
Seeing myself in that townhouse window, 
newly pregnant
and beseeching God for a baby girl.
That girl is You. 
I know you.
I love you.
My road is different,
but always I will be near.
Now, go!  
~mom